Crazy old Lady, living in a log cabin filled with cats, books, and classical music…

laughing cat & dogI never thought I’d want to have kids.  God grinned.

I planned on being the crazy old lady who lived in a log cabin in Colorado, the famous author whose house was filled with cats, musty books, and plenty of classical music — maybe some Jazz & Blues thrown in to spice things up.    It sounded like a plan!   God shook His head and rolled His eyes.

Hormones hit.  Nobody mentioned hormones.  Nobody prepared me for what they’d do to my plan.  I ended up married, living in a house with no running water, and wondering why birth control pills kept making me vomit.  Every day — for an entire year.  That was especially not fun when there’s no indoor toilet.   I went to the doctor.  He said I was 3 months pregnant.  I thought they were birth CONTROL pills.  The doctor said they don’t work for everyone.  

 Less than 2 years later, I was divorced, living in an apartment with my NumberOneSon, some parakeets, a couple of puppies, a lot of books, and music ranging from Classical to kids’.  Close enough.  I smiled.   I liked having my little buddy.  We called ourselves the Two Musketeers.

A couple of more years passed and I met a man who greatly annoyed me.  I had no choice but to marry him.  He needed to suffer.   I had to move the pets outside, due to his allergies.  I kept NumberOneSon inside….but we would occasionally sneak in some wildlife.  (baby skunks, a coyote pup, a catfish, etc.)

Knowing how untrustworthy birth control pills are, we began using other methods of keeping life simple.  For every ‘method’, I had a child.  The last — most effective form of birth control — resulted in twins.  God laughed.

I’m learning that when God wants something, He will get it.  He is not a slave to statistics.  He is not hindered by science.  He is also fully aware that when He gets what HE wants, I’ll be deliriously happy, too.

Who’da thunk it?

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The Mother of All Clotheslines

We’ve lived in this house over 18 years.  With  a multitude of children comes a multitude of laundry.  I asked for a clothesline to be put up.  It didn’t happen.   I went to the dollar store, purchased the line, and began tying it from tree to tree and back to my porch.  When people aren’t expecting clotheslines to be there, they sometimes encounter them during motorcycle rides through the backyard.  They usually aren’t happy about it, but those who see it take place remember it vividly and quite humorously for years!

When each clothesline would rot away, I’d buy new line and come up with a slightly different route to hang it.    At some points it would be low enough that the dogs would think they needed to attack and kill every towel within reach.  I did the best I could do, all the while asking for a ‘real’ clothesline.

A couple of years ago, someone built a beautiful log cabin on the way to my mom’s house.  DH & I called about it to find out who did the building and what it would run for something similar.  Every time we drove by it, we slowed down to enjoy the beauty of it’s construction.  One day, as we were driving by, I screamed.  (You’ll notice that’s commonplace for me.)  There was a big beautiful clothesline, painted the same green as the roof on the cabin!  DH cringed and said he wished he’d taken another route.

After a recent clash of the Titan Egos (me & DH), he and the boys began working furiously in the barn.  I could hear and smell welding in progress!  The post hole digger was hooked up to the back of the tractor and concrete was mixed.  What to my wondering eyes should appear, but THE MOTHER OF ALL CLOTHESLINES!

 This thing is huge.  The pipe is as wide as a dessert plate.  I’m not kiddin’!  The lines are plastic-coated cable.  It can hold EIGHT big loads of laundry.  Yes, I said 8 — the number of New Beginnings!  It is the Behemoth of all clotheslines!  It looks like a clothesline on steroids.  It is so huge that it screams for attention.  I’m wondering what color to paint it….I mean, after all, why go for a bland, boring silver when this mammoth sucker could stay put in a tornado?  I’m thinkin’ it needs a color as big and bold as it is!

Right after they got the concrete poured, poles set right, rings for the wires welded on, and the wires attached, it began to rain.  It rained.  And rained.  And rained.  And rained.  And rained.  And rained.  And rained.  And rained.    In the two weeks TMOAC (The Mother Of All Clotheslines) has been in place, I’ve been able to use it 2 — count ’em — two days. 

It’s okay.  When the sun stays out, my electric bill will go down by 1/3 — because I’ll be using TMOAC!!!!dancing man