Disappointment with God

That is the title of one of my favorite books.  It is written by Philip Yancey.

After my nephew drowned in a neighbor’s swimming pool, I had a lot of questions.  God didn’t seem to be Who I’d always been taught He was.   The more questions I asked, the more frustrated I became.

I got very tired of hearing people say, “There’s a reason for everything!”  “Well, they just need to have another baby as soon as possible.”  “God needed another little angel in Heaven.”  “God needed another little flower in His garden.”

I wanted to scream, “There is NO good reason for this child to die.  Having another child will NOT replace this one!” and “My God planned ahead — He doesn’t have to kill babies to fulfill His angel quota (like that concept is even scriptural) or His flower quota!”  But of course, I did not want to hurt the feelings of the people who were trying so hard to bring comfort to me….

I ran across the book, Disappointment with God, at a Christian book store.  The title intrigued me.  And yes, you can bet I got a funny look when I headed up to the checkout.  Is it okay for Christians to be disappointed with God?  gasp!  The thought!

That book helped me walk through a very challenging time in my journey with Christ.  While my questions were not answered, I understood the thought line of Much Afraid in Hinds’ Feet On High Places, where she says that even if her Beloved has played her for a fool and He’s really not that awesome and powerful and amazing, even so, she’ll still love Him and appreciate how much better her life has become since she’s become acquainted with Him. 

Coming to terms with unanswered questions is that paradigm shift that brings about a greater intimacy with God than one could ever imagine.  That leap of faith is fully and completely delightful, amazing, and empowering.

Now it’s my husband’s turn.  Due to a recent farm accident, he had to have a portion of a finger removed.  His personality is such that he does not do well with any kind of ‘deformity’ or ‘abnormality.’  He wonders where God was when the accident took place, why his ever-cautious and thoughtful approach to working on machinery was not enough when teamed with God’s divine protection.     

I won’t answer him with cliches.

I do not know why it happened.  I do not know what God’s ultimate plan and purpose is regarding this injury.  What I do know is that God is still good.  He is still loving.  He is still merciful.  He is still our shield and our defender.  He is the same God who got us through much more horrendous circumstances….

and He will get us through this.

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